God writes...

She is awaiting something profound to change her life but Martha doesn't realize her life has already been touched magically. Today, as she sat at her favourite spot in the book store flipping carelessly through a book she'd picked up, her mind trans-travels and through the calm countenance, only I could sense agony, detriment of spirit. Her fragile, petal like fingers that holds the book in a grip makes me want to clasp it in mine, look her in the eye to tell her 'My child, look no where else. I love you and I am by your side." But my little princess plunges in self pity which makes oblivious all that composes of me.It saddens to see my beloved sit there, morose, letting melancholy over power her gullible smile that's now wiped out of her face. I am heart broken to see her this way, yet, I silently watch her through this despondency. She is a smart little thing, precious and brave. I'm so proud of her confidence in me and value her judgement of people but sometimes, she gives up just like today and I feel helpless. She thinks fate is playing games because despite her best efforts, she seems to hit rock bottom in all relationships she holds dear. Her boyfriend hasn't called her the whole day and she can't stop her mind from imagining possibilities of what might have kept him so occupied. She thinks about her friends next and realizes them drifting away. And as she finds her world falling apart, what hurts me most is that she considers all this self devastating results of her own making. She forgets all those instances of Divine presences that I gave her to show I was around and that I will show myself in many different ways, through many different people. She forgets she is blessed and that she is capable of dealing with petty human miseries.

Things always change for the better and I wish she only paid more attention to this. If only I could show her things through my eyes then probably she would  understand that I have brought all this upon her because of a special reason. I wish she could see beyond the trickery of the heart and mind and realize the hidden message behind her own true yearning. I wish I could remind her of those moments of blissful meditation where her mind called upon me and in that remorseless serenity, her deepest self had craved for something beyond the ordinary, and that yearning alone was proof enough of her innate nature to realize the profound. Although I'm unconsumed with partiality and non indulgent in favoritism, I give those who desire the truth, experiences of higher nature just so that they conquer their worldly selves faster.

She sits struggling to tame her thoughts that wander away, entangling her in an even more complex mesh of human bondage and her heart cringes in despair. I see her otherwise bright face shrivel like a snow beaten leaf and now I palpitate in sadness. Her once kind words drenched in Divine love now resonate in my ears, "I love you God, please make me yours" and I feel more and more slipping into submission. After all, I am surely not that heartless as many may perceive so as the quite drops of tears roll down my darling's cheeks, I find myself in utter surrender of will. Once again, Martha with a heart like a fresh pearl and innocence of a new born steals herself the life which I rather not plan for her but submit for her own sake.

Although I want her to rid herself from all miseries arising from human attachment, I must allow her the space and time to reach out to it at her own pace. Perhaps allow her to reach out to me whenever she is ready.

So I resume her life and hope she doesnt hurt too much before she remembers her love towards me again.